Settling In LA. Why Do We Settle?
Why the hell do we settle? Settle for the job we don't want yes. But you know I'm talking about men.
Like, I am not even blaming you, I ask myself the same thing. I even try and compare my dating life in Chicago to dating in LA. I often find myself telling my friends that it was easier in Chicago, but I have single girlfriends in Chicago and all over telling me the same stories. If you live in LA or you've tried dating in LA, you will see that it is pretty awful though, like next level awful.
One friend told me "LA is not a dating city" which is the best explanation I've gotten thus far. Not exactly sure why, but one guy friend told me it's because there are so many beautiful women, eh. Whatevz
It's like this vicious cycle: girl #1 dates average guy #1, because of the ratio of women to men, man has 30 more options to choose from than woman. So he thinks... "Hmmmm she is a great woman, BUT I have other great women I could also date." See men they DO NOT settle, at all. Yes they have more options so it makes it so much easier. But they will keep dating until they find "The One."
Anyway, when guy #1 abruptly stops communicating with girl #1 (because that's how it's done these days) it pisses off girl #2. So what does she think? I'm never dating an average guy again. So she starts looking for a next level type of guy. You know the NFL, CEO, and NBA type. Girl #1 slowly realizes that the "Next Level Type" STILL are not settling, so she goes for the average guy again dating guy #3.
Guy #3 is the guy she always wished for on paper. But then she realizes she doesn't want it perfect, and needs someone who is going to challenge her and actually wants a blend of guy #1 and #2. Therefore doing what guy #1 did to her, to guy #3, making guy #3 angry and turn into guy #1.
Trust me I know what you're thinking, you were willing to settle down with guy #1 had he not been such an idiot. He probably had a few things you would have to overlook but for the most part you could still see yourself marrying and having kids with the guy. But because guys don't settle and we do, we lost. The "Next Level Guy" is clearly not a settle in terms of what he can offer monetarily, BUT it is settling emotionally, (sometimes, don't get me wrong there are a handful of Steph Curry's.) But for the most part we go searching for money thinking it is going to be the cure. And it ends up the same amount of stress.
Then don't you hate it when people say "focus on our career the guy will come?" Like seriously girl get out of my face! I can multitask okay? I can surely fit bae into my hectic schedule. That was how I used to think alllll the time. But if I am honest with myself it's soooo true. I am that girl that gets her heart broken and then starts to level ALL the way up. Hell it might be the reason I am where I am now, because I have had my poor little loving heart broken so many times.
But to the girl who just got her heart broken by a guy #1 or guy #2. Trust me guy #4 is on the way. Well it might be guy #15 but he is also on the way, haha. We have to not be heart broken to want to level up. We need to be our own cheerleaders and make the decision to slay the game NOW, and do it for ourselves and none else.
Use the fire in your heart and pour it in your career. There is this great quote I just read that says: You wander from room to room, Hunting for the diamond necklace, That is already around your neck." - Rumi
Cheers to the salvage! :)